Lift Large And Prosper

Don't Just Coast Through Life, Grow Through It!

Confession – How I Failed My Readers And Myself!


I don’t like to bullshit people. When I recommend something it’s always driven by the fact that I not only believe in it but also practice what I preach.

Take fat loss for example, something that I’ve learned a lot more about over the last four years or so. I always recommend that this be driven mainly through diet with strength training being used along side not to burn calories but to build and maintain strength. This allows you to not only make sure any weight you lose is coming from fat and not muscle, but may also allow you to get stronger simultaneously.

I also recommend during this time that you keep “cardio” to a minimum for a number of reasons (The full breakdown of which I run through here, should you be so interested) unless it is something that you really enjoy or do as part of sport specific training.

When I go to lose some fat these are the exact protocols that I implement. I cut my calories and tailor my macros according to my activity, I ensure that I’m continuing to push hard in the gym and I watch the fat fall off. There would be no way in hell that I’d be recommending what I do if I was to turn around and so something completely different when the time comes for me to lean out a bit.

I’d like to think this no bullshit spreading attitude I have stems into all other aspects of my life also. Always being a good person, striving to improve yourself, making sure you have your priority’s set on whats important in your life and are working towards them. These are all important to me and things I hold in very high regard, which is why I always recommend and try help people achieve them in their own lives.

Another thing that I recommend is always working hard and striving to be your best from a professional standpoint. If you’re working within a company I firmly believe that not only should you do your job to the best of your ability but strive to expand what it is you do to best help the company. Never should you settle down and just do what you “have to” in order to get paid. You should be driven, helpful and insightful in everything it is that you do, not only to provide the best service that you can but also to gain the most enjoyment out of your career.

It is because of the fact that I believe in this that I have a confession to make. Recently I have found myself falling short on this very important aspect of who it is I am. One day it just hit me that I was not fulfilling all the aspects of my job in the way that I believed I should be. Nothing was said to me from management and all the deadlines I had to hit were being completed but I didn’t feel like I was doing my best work. I felt like it was taking me longer and longer to get things done and I realised that there was little to no passion behind the projects that I was involved in.

Sure I could turn around and start blaming others, the work environment or maybe the projects themselves for causing this downturn in personal productivity, but that wouldn’t be fair. Really, this all boils down to me not being committed or inspired by the job enough to ensure I was filling the position to my maximum ability. That’s not fair on my managers, colleagues or even myself.

To say I felt pretty shitty upon realising this would be an understatement. I really do believe that I possess the ability to do great things and achieve everything in life I want to (Not just me, everyone for that matter if the drive is there to do so) . I believe that being honest with myself on what my skills, strengths, weakness and failures are is what will allow me to become an even stronger version of myself day after day, year after year.

It is for this reason that I was left with a number of questions that needed answering.

  • How did I let this happen?
  • What was the driving force behind it?
  • What can I do to fix it?
  • How do I grow, improve and move on from this mistake?

Answering these questions honestly was not easy. It would be all to convenient for me to say it was situational – an issue driven by the work I was doing, or the sector I was working in or even the people who were giving me direction. I could wish for a better job or a position in a different sector or whatever, but that wouldn’t solve the issue that I had let myself get into a position where I was unaware of the lack of drive I had behind the work I was doing. This failure was a personal one and nothing more.

The positive outcome of this personal review was that I knew I had to quit my current job. I knew I had no passion, not only for the projects I was doing, but the brewing industry as a whole.

The “negative” outcomes of this review were far greater in numbers. If I was leaving my job, where would I go? Do I stay in the same process engineering role but in another industry? Do I leave engineering all together? Where do I go next?

At the end of all this, and even now, I’m still not sure on those answers. I’m not sure if engineering is for me. I’m not sure if working in a multinational is for me. What is it that I want to do?

Right now I have more questions than I do answers but that in itself is incredibly positive. Now that I know the right questions, I can work towards answering them. If I had of just continued on oblivious to the fact that I was just trundling along it could have been years before I had realised these issues and spent years trying to answer the completly wrong questions.

In an effort to answer them I have decided that I need to get out of the industry for a while and in fact have decided to move to Canada. My closest friends know that there are other, more personal reasons behind this scene change also, but one of the biggest factors behind the move is because I need to figure out what to do next. Getting out of my comfort zone, working in an environment where I’m not worrying about the career ladder I might be climbing up should allow me some space to clear my mind and figure out what step is next for me.

Sure I have worries about the future, what I might figure out about myself and what exactly I’m going to end up doing, but staying here would not bring me any closer to my goals and so getting out and figuring out what will is the obvious step for me. So as of September 4th I am finished work, with my flight booked for a month later on October 4th.

As a closing thought, remember this. A failure in any aspect of life should only be considered as much if you fail to grow from it or use it to drive change. As humans we will inevitably fail. Some of them will be small, some of them will be big. So long as you continue to grow, improve, learn and expand from each and every situation you find yourself in, you are becoming the greatest version of yourself.

Lets just hope that in a few months time this helps me to figure out what my next steps are!